Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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