just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
