she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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