Buhtt sex?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
