I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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