I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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