In the future we'll all be gay
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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