i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
