Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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