I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
where am i from again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
