I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
