I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
