So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
