Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
