I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
