i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Two words: blizzard sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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