The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize