There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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