Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
