Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize