we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
