there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
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she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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