I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
