i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
