I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize