So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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