woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
