I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Green mimosas i think yes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
