just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
