i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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