I'm so fucking centered right now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
