Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
third nipple confirmed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
