i just had sex bonerless
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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