Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
