literally had 100 drinks last night.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
