You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
