apparently the secret to your success is patron
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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