my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She even gives head with a lisp.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
