The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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