Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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