I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize