I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
