I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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