Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
