well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
