GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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