Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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