Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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