at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
