lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
