Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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