He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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