it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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