I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
