I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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