All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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