What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Enjoy the penises
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
