he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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