i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
