i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
