I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
