Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
