I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
