okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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