she looked like the before picture.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
