I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
