You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
vagina is talking i cant
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
